


The contradictions of Sasuke Uchiha

by therapppies



Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, Angst and Romance, Canon Universe, Denial of Feelings, Drama, F/M, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Light Angst, One Shot, POV Uchiha Sasuke, Sad, SasuSaku - Freeform, Uchiha Sasuke-centric, chaotic sasuke, dumb and in love, human disaster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-12
Updated: 2020-11-12
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:54:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27525715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/therapppies/pseuds/therapppies
Summary: In the middle of so many uncertainties, Sasuke knew Sakura was his most beautiful answer; but at the same time, his most painful mistake.
Relationships: Sasuke/Sakura
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	The contradictions of Sasuke Uchiha

I couldn't think outside my lines.

But _perhaps_ you were my first and last thought on a winter Friday. And on a summer Saturday. And all of my days.

I saw you in my sweetest dreams, in my greatest desires and even in my worst nightmares — I saw you going away and I hated myself for letting you go. Part of me wanted so bad to hate and to blame you for leaving me, but you were right. However, losing you — even though in a dream — was like cutting my fingers off. I woke up and felt the pain in the fingers that once loved to touch your skin. The pain of missing you. The pain of loving and being afraid of it.

Between syntheses and antitheses, all I ever wanted was not having your love. Or that I would give myself up to that feeling. I would hate you if I could or I would love you if I wasn't such a coward. But the anger was so deeply rooted in me that it wouldn't allow me to see what was right in front of my eyes. And what I used to call weakness was actually my greatest strength. I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs that every single time I told you _no_ , my core screamed _yes._

Every part of my body told you yes.

And in a self-defense weird mechanism, I pushed you away. I did everything to make you hate me, and yet, you were always so annoyingly right about your feelings that at the end of the day, I was the only one hating myself. As a matter of fact, Sasuke Uchiha is nothing more than the chaos broken down into a thousand of selfish, proud and frightened fragments, to the point of depriving himself of your love. To the point of hurting his own feelings, but even worst, to the point of depriving you of a more dignified love.

Shit, this is so fucked up.

Among countless mistakes, you brought me so much joy — that I couldn’t notice at the time, but now I do. I learned from you that the one who dares to go through all the life uncertainties to express his feelings is the strongest person alive.

You are strong, Sakura.

So much stronger than me.

Apart from chakras and jutsus, your heart is the strongest muscle. The love that exhales so deeply from you is something that can't be measured and I just can't move.

Before you, rationality was my faithful companion, my best friend. Things were easily counted in numbers and dimensions were measured with the ruler. I could control the closeness of my goals, the power desire, revenge and glory. I could control what I already had and what was still missing. It was all so logic, but then you just smiled and looked at me with those beautiful green eyes that I lost the line. Even rationality loses its meaning when it comes to you, and it terrifies me. 

In my path searching for certainties, you were, with no matter of doubt, the most intense uncertainty. But maybe that was the beauty of life, uhn? If only I wasn't moved by ambition and thirst for ready answers... If only you knew the effect you have on me.

You are my greatest learning, my sweetest — and only — love, but also my greatest mistake. I failed endlessly times with the only person who brought colors to my cloudy days. And even being a total inexperienced in love issues, I know that love is not like that. It's not your fault I'm not strong enough. What's the point of my heart beating for you if I'm with the eyes shut? If I don't see you the way you deserve? I love you; and _I hate that_. I'm afraid to put in words my love for you, and Sakura, you deserve so much more than incomplete words and unsafe feelings.

Because you are everything, and I am nothing but a tragic contradiction.

**Author's Note:**

> that's how i imagine sasuke's point of view, the repetitions were made to follow a flux of consciensciouss. sasuke is trying to put in order all of his thoughts and feelings about sakura :)  
> thank you for reading!


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